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Messages - NEEKSBOD

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Media / Re: MUSIC
« on: April 30, 2008, 04:19:32 PM »
I think and this is my opinion that you tube is very slack. you can watch anything at any age, and the funny thing is that if there is something with a parental discretion the only ask if you are 18 and why wouldnt the kids lie about it, i just think there could be a better way to secure the things there, though many would lie about their ages too.

with me??

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: November 21, 2007, 12:50:25 PM »
The True Origin of the Internet

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called 'Amazon Dot Com.'

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all.

Media / Re: MUSIC
« on: November 15, 2007, 05:43:52 PM »
any body in this forum likes REGGAE.....???? i mean just curious?????

i am currently playing MORTAL KOMBAT AMARGEDDON, which is not all that because i finished it in one day but i just got the SIMS Castaway, but i dont know if anyone in here likes it.... who ever does give me a holla.

Gran Turismo 4 was very challenging i into racing....

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: November 12, 2007, 02:19:27 PM »
Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jone's wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sank.

A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear of your great loss, you must feel terrible".

Joe smiled and said, "Well I am not a bit sorry, she was rather old from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of dead fish. Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack and a pretty big hole in her front, and that hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could barely handle her, but if anyone else used her she leaked like anything. The thing that finished her was four guys from the other side of town. They came down looking for a good time and asked if I could lend her to them. I warned them she wasn't so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked. Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle".

Before he could finish the old lady fainted!

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: November 09, 2007, 04:11:33 PM »
Three explorers are captured by a tribe in the Amazon jungle. The chief is going to punish the intruders. He calls the first explorer to the front of the tribe and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well the explorer doesn't want to die, so he opts for booka. The tribe starts screaming BOOKA! and dancing around. the cheif then rips the explorers pants off and fucks him in the ass.

The cheif calls the second explorer to the front and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well not wanting to die either, he opts for booka. The tribe again starts screaming BOOKA! and dancing around. The cheif rips the second guys pants off and fucks him in the ass.

The chief calls the third explorer to the front and asks, "Death or Booka?!". Well the third guy has a little more self respect and thinks death would be better than being violated in front of hundreds of tribesman, so he opts for death. The chief turns to the tribe and screams "DEATH BY BOOKA!"

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: November 08, 2007, 06:00:56 PM »
One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his gun belt and his boots. The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town dressed like that?"  Billy-Bob replies "Well sheriff, it's a long story!"  Sheriff says he isn't in a hurry and that Billy-Bob should tell the story. Billy-Bob continues "Well sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a cuddling. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did." "Inside the barn we started a kissing and a cuddling and things got pretty hot and heavy, well Mary-Lou said that we should go up on the hill so we did." "Up on the hill we started a kissing and a cuddling and the Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. Well, I took off all my clothes except my gun belt and my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay on the ground and opened her legs and said "Okay Billy-Bob, go to town..."

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: November 08, 2007, 05:59:41 PM »
Thats is sooooo nasty!!! were do u get that from?

mi ma wud die if she see da

Can you believe i have never finished the original Super Mario Brothers Game... that makes me the lousyest player in the world... i really want to know of one person who did not save the princess, BESIDES ME!!!.

ANYWAYS, i have been looking for that game for ages and have not found it, i think everyone gave up on it years ago. i want it, does anyone know of a place i can get this from... the original i mean i really want to finish it. i usually like the mortal kombat and stuff but super mario has my heart.

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: November 06, 2007, 04:45:02 PM »
Sergeant Jones was doing a drill one morning when a letter was given to him. Sergeant stood up and shouted, "PRIVATE WILLIAMS STAND UP!.....YOUR MOTHER HAS DIED!" Private Williams immediately bawled into tears and fainted. Sergeant Smith told Sergeant Jones, "You should have broken the news to him nicer....he wouldn't have been so upset." Two months had passed, Sergeant Jones was running another drill and he received another letter which stated that Private Williams' father had died, and then he thought for a minute and then shouted, "EVERYONE WHOSE FATHER IS ALIVE, TAKE ONE STEP FORWARD" and so they did, and then Sergeant Jones shouted, "PRIVATE WILLIAMS... WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: November 01, 2007, 12:29:48 PM »
i know that... its just that they thought that when we talked it made us look low... i do not cooperate with it, its just that it was either that or get thrown out.

not being racist or anything but it was mainly full of white kids, and they sounded shitty themselves. pissed me off when they talked. oh like one time like i went like swimming and like i liked it and like it was fun. that sort off shit.

Dont get me wrong but i was one of the ppl who like cutting their tail the <<avoid profanity in it's open form please use F@#$ for example>> out of them, Oh the memories!!!

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: October 31, 2007, 04:38:05 PM »
i lost my accent after attending a private school... we use to get cut ass when we didnt talk properly.

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: October 31, 2007, 04:36:17 PM »
Something I had to share…

My cousin told me about a man down the street who collects money from the government every month because of his broken foot. He does not work, he doesn’t do anything just sits around all day living off the government money.

One day (my cousin went on) while hanging under the tree, a local hangout spot for the local man in the island, an argument arose between the crooked foot man and a drunk man. The drunk man upset at the crooked man stated, “this man is a bull shitter while ye sit there all day doing and talking shit and taking money from government others who got it worse than him have to work in that condition.” He (my cousin almost crying from laughter at the time) went on saying, “ see let me tell you, I was watching TV one day and I saw this man with no arms and legs laying blocks!!!”

Sometimes these things make me wonder what drunken ppl really are seeing on TV.

Note that this is not the way they speak but I cannot write like that anymore so you have to go through the English version.

Media / Re: Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
« on: October 31, 2007, 04:09:32 PM »
for you guys who insult HARRY POTTER; note that this is the best series ever made........also that it kicks FroDO ass and bring he ass back to life.

if you knew what a good story is you would watch this.... its worth it,,,, it will all pay off at the end.

Media / Re: Horror thread
« on: October 31, 2007, 03:55:42 PM »
well i dont know about you but i am a fan of scary movies and i pee my pants when i say the hills have eyes, its not horror to me its just horrible.

its sickening and even though it was disgusting i could not stop watching it.

While traveling in a trailer to California through the New Mexico Desert, a family is misled to a shortcut going to nowhere by the owner of an isolated gas station and wrecks the car in a rock. Along the night and on the next day, they are attacked by a group of deformed cannibals, fruit of the atmospheric nuclear tests conducted by USA from 1945 to 1962 in that spot. Absolutely trapped by the psychotics, they have to fight to survive. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

the hills have eyes 2 is also a must see!!!

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: October 30, 2007, 02:04:16 PM »
3 men where at the FBI Building for a job interview.

The first man walked into the office . The interviewing FBI agent said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun, hesitated, and said "Sorry, I can't do it."

The next interviewee came into the office. The Agent said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walked out. "Sorry," he said.

The last man came into the office. The interviewer said "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun." The man took the gun and went into the room. The Agent heard 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming.

The man came out of the room and said "Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing!" :awesome:

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: October 18, 2007, 10:40:21 AM »
Lord, Don't Let Me Be Late!

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.

As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!"As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off,and started running again.

As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either."

Ole Talk / Re: Just a Joke
« on: October 03, 2007, 12:13:00 PM »
Potential & Reality

 A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for
help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask
your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then
go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then
come back and tell me what you've learned."

The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mom, if someone gave you a
million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"

"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would."

He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million
dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"

She replies, "O my god! Definitely!"

The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out.
Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we are living
with two sluts."


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